Are North America's largest freshwater turtles, typically weighing 35-150 pounds, but capable of topping 250. That's like weighing anywhere from toddler to LeBron James.
Are mainly found in large rivers, sloughs, and oxbow lakes of southern and eastern Missouri.
Spend most of their lives in deep water.
Become active at night. So, we should probably consider the possibility they're vampires.
They:
Seldom swim. They usually walk slowly on the bottom of a body of water like a psychopath in a scary movie.
Have an appendage on their tongue that looks like a worm. They wiggle it around to lure fish into their mouth.
Can stay submerged for 50 minutes.
Spend so much time in the water, so motionless, that algae grows on their shells. So, they're probably also enlightened.
Are rare enough in Missouri that it's illegal to capture, kill, or collect one.
We might not have a Louvre, a Kilimanjaro, or a Great Wall, but we get to share our home with a living reminder of an ancient world.
Friends, don't let the magazine rack, social media feed, and travel channel convince you that all amazing places, people, and things are somewhere else.
Southeast Missouri and our neighboring regions are full of clear streams, ancient swamps, unexplored caves, rocky bluff overlooks, historic towns, and bizarre wildlife.
The alligator snapping turtle is the perfect reminder. This ancient behemoth proves the extraordinary isn't always far away. Sometimes it's next door.
That's why ol' snappy stars on the first Backroad Weekly t-shirt. It embodies the weird, wild, and cool here in our humid corner of the world.
For this weird little newsletter, your support is a big deal.
Backroad Weekly is 100% free to read, independently owned, and locally operated. Every penny of your purchase goes toward maintaining Backroad Weekly: the recon, research, outreach, and the tools and platforms that keep this thing running online.
Have too many t-shirts but still want to show your support? Well, too bad!...Just kidding, that's amazing. I have a link for that too.
Travel back before Wal-Mart to Fort de Chartres
In the early 1700s, the banks of the Mississippi River were already home to scatterings of French settlements and military posts.
This week's day-trip-able historic site is one of them:Fort de Chartres State Historic Site in Southern Illinois, about a 1.5-hour drive north of Cape Girardeau.
Pronunciation for those who failed high school French? I've heard it pronounced locally as Fort d'Shart...which, I'm going to be mature about and leave it at that.
Quick History Lesson
French colonizers built the first wooden fort here in 1720 to protect their fur trade interests. MUST PROTECT THE CASH COW.
Over about 33 years, that evolved into a massive stone fort which became "the French seat of government and its chief military installation" in what was then known as Upper Louisiana.
Wild to think of little ol' Prairie Du Rocher, Illinois as a France's HQ in the Midwest, right?
But all good things must come to a fin. When France lost the French and Indian War (1763), they ceded much of their North American territory to Britain, so eventually, a bunch of David Beckham's (the British) moved into the fort. Which explains why everyone in Southern Illinois is so good looking.
The French Exodus
After the defeat, many French residents of "the Illinois Country" chose to leave rather than live under British rule. I mean...no one really wants to be ruled by the folks who just killed their pappy. So, they crossed the Mississippi River over to French settlements on Spanish land, such as Ste. Genevieve and the newly founded St. Louis.
Back to the Fort
Repeated flooding of the Mississippi River eventually destroyed one of the fort's walls. And I don't know if you know this, but a fort isn't a ton of good with a big hole in it. British troops abandoned it in 1772 and relocated nearby.
The site fell into ruin and remained in ruins until the 1900s, when the state of Illinois began decades-long preservation and reconstruction efforts on the fort's original foundations. The fort's powder magazine, however, is original and considered the oldest standing building in the state of Illinois.
You Should Visit
Today, visitors can walk through the reconstructed fort, see the oldest building in the state, explore the museum, and get a glimpse of what life was like on the frontier of New France.
It's one thing to read about French colonial history in a textbook. It's another to stand inside the walls where soldiers, traders, and settlers lived 300 years ago. Go check it out, man.
The ewe lambs (who had been in separate weaning fields) were put back in with their mothers!
Cue the sequence where the lambs slow motion run through the fields to their mamas while that 1970's song "Reunited" by Peaches & Herb plays. 🎶Reunited and it feels so goooooood🎶
And as always, you're welcome to give Mesta Meadows a visit to see the lambs and stop by the farm store, the Mason Jar.
You gotta love a hobby you can do from the porch. This week, I'm highlighting one of the celebrities that hangs out at my neighbor's feeder in Scott City, MO - the red-headed woodpecker. How is something so common so fabulous?
As a stop along Route 61, the blues runs through Cape Girardeau's veins. The artists and founders of this genre in America's musical heritage coursed through our area on their way north, pausing to put on a show.
Route 61, the Blues Highway, turned 100 this year. As a tribute to its role in global music history (and our local history), VisitCape and Scout Hall have been hosting a Broadway Blues series.
Award-winning blues musician and St. Louis-native, Matt "The Rattlesnake" Lesch, will perform the soulful melodies and moving lyrics characteristic of the blues on Cape's historic Broadway Street on Friday, July 10th.
If you've never been to Scout Hall, it's Cape's cool and classy underground venue. Perfect for an intimate experience with the blues.
Want to share an upcoming event with 1,900+ Southeast Missourians looking for things to do? Read more about how to add an event to this section.
This Weekend’s Happenings
Fri, July 10
Scott County Balloon & Summer Festival, Benton, MO - A carnival, craft fair, vendors, helicopter rides, Heartland Idol, tethered balloon rides, drag racing, a balloon glow, and live music. I hope the petting zoo animals are not as horrifying in person as they are on the AI-generated poster. 4pm-12am. $5 per person. Carnival wristbands have a separate cost.
The Ballet of Fervour or Perhaps Bingo, Cape Girardeau, MO - The River City Players are back with their 2026 live summer comedy. The phone number for reservations is in the flyer.
America the Beautiful Block Party, Farmington, MO - Farmington is showcasing American-made products, many made locally. Support local makers, shop downtown, get dinner & drinks, and check out the live music.
Cruise-in, Poplar Bluff, MO - "Come enjoy great cars, good people, and community in the heart of downtown Poplar Bluff." 6-8pm
County Fair, Ste. Genevieve, MO - Check out the fashion show, parade, petting zoo, inflatables, swine show, laser tag, and live music.
Sat, July 11
Scott County Balloon & Summer Festival, Benton, MO - Day 3 of this event brings a carnival, an activities tent, a craft fair, vendors, helicopter rides, a car show, a beauty pageant, racing, tethered balloon rides, a balloon glow, and live music. 11am-12am. $5 per person. Carnival wristbands have a separate cost.
Bench & Planter Workshop, Cape Girardeau, MO - "Looking to spruce up your front porch or backyard patio? Join us for a DIY Large Porch Planter Workshop! Select a design from the available options. We provide all the materials and instruct you step-by-step to create a beautiful piece for yourself or for a gift."
The Ballet of Fervour or Perhaps Bingo, Cape Girardeau, MO - More live comedic antics by the River City Players. The phone number for reservations is in the flyer. (I always have to Google if it's flier or flyer).
Nature & Health: Meditation and Breathwork, Cape Girardeau, MO - "Take a short pause with gentle chair yoga, breathwork, and meditation." No experience required. 18+. Registration required.
Grindhouse Galore: From B-Movie Rebels to Cult Classics!, Cape Girardeau, MO - A 4-week immersive workshop all about grindhouse cinema. Each session explores a different era from the '50s to the '80s. Classes run July 11 to August 1, Saturdays, 1-5 PM. $59.
Cape Riverfront Market, Cape Girardeau, MO - Shop locally grown produce, crafts, and artisan goods to the grooves of live tunes.
Preserving Your Family's Treasures, Jackson, MO - The Cape County History Center we will "explore preserving your family documents, textiles, books and other precious artifacts. Free & Open to the Public. Please call to reserve a spot." 10am-12pm.
County Fair, Ste. Genevieve, MO - Would it be a county fair without a petting zoo, 4-H, live music, or a demolition derby in the grandstand?
Kayak, Football, and BBQ, Piedmont, MO - Team River Runner is learning to play kayak football on Clearwater Lake, and you're invited! Team River Runner SEMO is really cool. They're a Southeast Missouri Kayak group for Veterans and non-veterans with the specific purpose of getting Disabled Veterans on the water.
Miner Tough Trail Run & Mountain Bike Race, Park Hills, MO - One of Southeast Missouri's premier endurance weekends returns to St. Joe State Park with trail running on Saturday and mountain bike racing on Sunday.
Cathedral Cave Off-Trail Tour, Leasburg, MO - "Perfect for beginning cavers who want a more intense cave experience, one that goes beyond the lighted tour with rails and trails." Led by an experienced guide. Climb, crawl, and get a little muddy.
Scott County Balloon & Summer Festival, Benton, MO - The final day of this event offers a carnival, a craft fair, vendors, a corn hole tournament, a garden tractor pull, go kart racing, and mower racing. 11am-6pm.
Reynolds House TEA Talks,Cape Girardeau, MO - "The topic of this month's talk is historic herbs: the history, growing, and uses in the past and present." Free admission. Donations accepted to the house's continued preservation.
The Ballet of Fervour or Perhaps Bingo, Cape Girardeau, MO - The River City Players will make you laugh in this matinee performance. Give Netflix a break and see a live show. The phone number for reservations is in the flyer...flier?
Local Book Release, Jackson, MO - Meet Beverly Hahs, the author of Footprints of a Community: Historical Stories of Jackson, Missouri and Surrounding Area. 2-4pm. Cape County History Center.
County Fair, Ste. Genevieve, MO - Head to Ste. Gen to catch the last day of the county fair.
Miner Tough Trail Run & Mountain Bike Race, Park Hills, MO - One of Southeast Missouri's premier endurance weekends returns to St. Joe State Park with trail running on Saturday and mountain bike racing on Sunday. (copy/pasted from my Saturday description. I'm tired, y'all).
Onondaga Cave Photo Tours, Leasburg, MO - This is similar to the standard cave tour, except it goes a lot slower, so photographers can take their time and get great cave shots. How cool is that?
Plan Ahead - The Fun You Can't Improvise
Farm Management Workshop, Marble Hill, MO - The Mayfield Entrepreneurial Center is partnering with MU to offer a 3-session workshop about a farm management tool built specifically for farmers who farm as their side job and for beginner farmers who are just getting started. Tell your farmer friends! No tech experience required. Light supper included. 7-8:30pm, July 13, 14, and 16. $30. Registration limited to 15 folks. Contact the MEC with questions.
Intro to Wild Caving, Perryville, MO - A rare chance to learn the basics of caving and explore a real, wild cave with expert guides. These sessions only run a handful of times each year and spots are limited. No experience necessary. Info session July 16. Cave exploration July 18.
Birds in Color: The Painted Bunting, Puxico, MO - Visit Mingo National Wildlife Refuge's Visitor's Center where you'll learn all about this gorgeous Missouri bird, the painted bunting, and then learn to draw one with oil pastels. CUTE. Thursday, July 23
Shawnee Hills Trail Races, Ozark, IL - One of the Midwest's premier trail running events returns to Camp Ondessonk with distances ranging from a half marathon to 100 miles. Tackle rugged singletrack through the Shawnee National Forest, passing some of Southern Illinois' best scenery. August 22-23. Registration closes August 15.
City of Roses 5k & Half Marathon, Cape Girardeau, MO - "This course takes you along a paved trail through residential Cape Girardeau and out into the beautiful county. Wind around paved roads, past horse farms, tree-filled woods and beautiful homes. Loop back to the Osage Center to a cheering crowd, good food, water, Gatorade, and locally brewed beer." Sunday, September 27.
Tour de Cape, Cape Girardeau, MO - A charity ride that takes off from downtown Cape Girardeau, MO. with 15, 30, and 60-mile routes. Saturday, October 3rd.
Devil's Toll Race, Johnson's Shut-Ins State Park - A 13-mile event "across one of the most scenic & rugged landscapes Missouri's Ozark Trail has to offer" with a hike option and a run option. Proceeds benefit the Ozark Trail Association. Saturday, October 3rd.
For each event, you’ll find more info at the link. *Because these events are upcoming, they have not been vetted. That would require a time machine, and we don't have the funds. Party at your own discretion.